President Trump Press Update on NAR


I think you all know me as King Trump, I mean president Trump. First question? The NAR? Am I supposed to know what that means? Oh, I see. They’re my spiritual advisors. What’s the meaning of those initials? The new Apostolic Reformation. Thank you but I’m not sure I know who they are? Oh? Paula White is one of them? She led me to the Lord back in 2011 I think? I’m not so good on dates unless the date in question is on my arm tonight. Yes, I know Paula White has been married three times but so have I. Is that supposed to mean something? Now you know why I don’t like press conferences. You people ask tough questions. Yes, Kenneth Copeland laid hands on me and the Secret Service was all over him as well. That’s just a joke so don’t print that or I’ll have to say it’s fake news. Yes, I have heard that NAR has some real weirdos in it. When you work with the Democrats every day you get used to weird. So what if Paula White leaned on my shoulder? She just laid hands on me in a different way. My wife? She’s used to me being the Trump. By the way is my hair in place and do I look presidential enough today? No, I will not be appearing on the Jim Bakker Show. He’ll expect me to buy some of that survival food. The stuff tastes like crap. Of course I know who David Jeremiah is. He was a prophet in Israel. I didn’t know his name was David though. Next time ask a question that requires more of my intelligence. Without those apostolic’s I never would have been elected president. By the way, I heard that Hillary fell in the bathtub in India. I will not hold India responsible for that fall. Poor Hillary. She’s been falling a lot lately ever since she fell out of the running for president. Now she can spend more time with Bill. Talk about a horrendous consolation prize. One more question please. Yes, I will be running for a second term. In fact I may change the laws of the land and run a third and fourth time as well. I mean, who could beat me? Thank you ladies and gentlemen and God bless America.

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